It is January, so of course it is the time of year that I reflect on the past and make goals for the coming year. Like many others, the goal be healthier is at the top of the list. In the past 6 months since my mom's surgery and hospitalizations my health and weight has suffered as well as the health and weight of my family. I've never been a "diet" kind of person, and I still am not. I'm hoping to find ways to incorporate new habits into our lives that lead us to a healthier lifestyle.

As I process conversations with friends as well as my internal thoughts and beliefs about health, fat, beauty and the number on the scale there is much to contemplate.

Internal contentment
What "healthy" looks like
Society's definition of beauty
How our appearance affects our relationships and interactions
The role of our countenance in communicating our "beauty" to the world

Recently I read a blog written by a beautiful girl that feels that all her words spoken in person are received by others after being filtered through the "fat filter." I really sat to ponder this and reflect on her words. It is very likely true that there are people in the world that do discount/discriminate against people because of their "fat." However, I cannot help but wonder how much of how people receive words have more to do with them reflecting our internal beliefs about ourselves more so than creating their own judgments.

Years ago I was in a fitness class and the instructor handed out a magazine article that had a research project with 1 woman pictured in a swimming suit, 2 trucks, and 2 "belief statements." On the first truck was the picture of the woman and her belief statement said, "I am fat." On the second truck was the same picture of the woman with the belief statement that said, "I am beautiful." The researchers parked the truck in the city, then asked people as they walked by if they agreed or disagreed with the woman's statement. Overwhelmingly, even though it was the same picture, the people on the street agreed with the statement communicated on the truck they were looking at. When I read the article it was life changing. I had never considered that my beliefs about myself would also form the beliefs of others.

My mom is a beautiful and wise woman, but since her cancer treatments destroyed her thyroid she has struggled with her weight as well as her worthiness to dress beautifully. Over the years though she has continuously given herself (or sometimes we have given to her) the permission to dress attractively, wear chic hairstyles, and present herself as beautiful. As I look at her I have never thought about her weight - only that she is beautiful, intelligent, and loving.

So, here's to healthy, both inside and out over a number on a scale.