Mother’s Day
8:07 AM
Mother’s Day
This year, and for every year for the rest of my life, Mother’s Day is different for me. This past week Facebook reminded me that one year ago we were in the hospital with mom again. It had been almost 2 years since she had been in, but we knew things were changing. We had hoped that the hospitalization would be a “tune up” of sorts to get her back on track, but in our hearts I think we all knew it was the beginning of the “lasts”. Right after mom got out of the hospital we had our last professional photos taken, had our last pedicures together (an annual Mother’s Day tradition), celebrated our last Mother’s Day together, spent my last birthday with Mom and Dad, celebrated our last anniversaries together since we are just 1 day apart, and stayed in the cabins in Long Pine together for the last time. Those are just the “lasts” of May.
I remember when Tucker was tiny, lamenting the passing of the lasts- frequently without knowing in the moment that the last was even happening. The last time I picked him up and carried him. The last time he called me “mommy.” In life we easily celebrate the first- first step, first word, first birthday, but we rarely get the gift of celebrating the lasts. And maybe, in some ways that is a gift in and of itself. Lasts are terribly painful.
But, there is a gift in walking through the pain and the lasts with intentionality. Leaning in and feeling both the joy of celebrating together and the pain of all the love you still have to give that you will never be able to use up on the person you love so dearly.
Many of my memories from the last year play back in my mind like a Hallmark movie. They are so beautiful and so perfect. My last birthday celebration with Mom and Dad we got a babysitter for all the kids and headed to Omaha. We had brunch at a lovely local farm to table restaurant, rode around in the car with the sunroof open singing our favorite oldies together, drove through the gorgeous historical neighborhoods and commenting on our favorite houses, then got pedicures together. It was a perfect day. That same weekend we had our photos taken by the lovely and talented Bobbi Beaver at Unsweptstone Photography, then had a delightful picnic in the park where the kids fed the ducks, the sun shone down on us and we basked in the beauty of it all. After that we headed to Lauritzen Gardens, one of my favorite places in all the earth, and I watched as “Dale” and “Pip” played together so sweetly, smelling all the blooms on the trees and Mom soaked in every moment.. We both felt so much beauty and sorrow in that moment. It was our last time there together.
I am an event creator. I love a reason to celebrate and I love traditions. Over the years we have found so many days to celebrate and reasons to get together. We even love to celebrate things like “National Gardens Day” and “Railroad Days.” That makes holidays like Mother’s Day even harder. Holidays have an obvious void. It’s not really a day we can just ignore and skip over. I knew that this year, even though the day would look so much different, it was a day I still needed to celebrate - just much differently.
Let’s pause for a moment and give a shout out to Anthony, the most blessed thing that has ever happened to me. I am so grateful that he has understood through all of this grief, and all the tears and emotions that this is not something I am ever going to “get over.” He doesn’t expect things to just “go back to normal” because our “normal” (whatever that is) has changed forever.
So this year, when I said I just wanted to quietly get away for a little while, even though it is planting season, Anthony didn’t even hesitate. He just said, “Let me know what you want to do and when.” Due to the insanity of COVID-19, the quarantines and self-isolation, basically all our plans for this year have fallen through. Each opportunity to get away and reflect has been cancelled, and even though a word like “isolation” would seem to indicate that one has had much time to one-self, that has not been the case at all.
We found a little cabin in the sandhills that had plenty of opportunity for social distancing, and we booked it. I had heard of this place 19 years ago when we got married, but we had never had a chance to stay here ourselves. There weren’t a lot of photos so we had no idea what to expect, but it couldn’t have been more perfect. I was able to buy my mom a bouquet of flowers for Mothers Day and deliver them to one of her favorite places on earth. Then when we arrived at our cabin I realized it was the closest thing to Mom’s other favorite place on earth that we could possibly find in Nebraska. The cabin is a beautiful log cabin surrounded by lodgepole pine trees. As we hiked down into the canyon it felt as though we were hiking in the mountains. We came across deer bounding through the forest, saw many elk tracks, and found a small pond that was so still the trees perfectly reflected off of it. The sun was warm, but the breeze was crisp as we sat by the pond and listened to the birds. It felt just like sitting in Wyoming with mom.
I don’t know that I could say it was a “Happy” Mother’s day, but it was a good mother’s day. My mom taught us so much. She poured her soul into us, faithfully teaching us to love our husbands, our children and the Lord. She took her role as a Titus 2 women to heart and lived out her mission field locally - serving others through her gift of hospitality, loving everyone she came into contact with, and being especially excited whenever she had a chance to minister to people locally that were from other countries - the foreign mission field came to her! I miss her every single day, and time probably isn’t going to change that, but even through the pain I can celebrate her on Mother’s Day.
So, Happy Mother’s Day Mom. I can’t wait until I see you again.
This year, and for every year for the rest of my life, Mother’s Day is different for me. This past week Facebook reminded me that one year ago we were in the hospital with mom again. It had been almost 2 years since she had been in, but we knew things were changing. We had hoped that the hospitalization would be a “tune up” of sorts to get her back on track, but in our hearts I think we all knew it was the beginning of the “lasts”. Right after mom got out of the hospital we had our last professional photos taken, had our last pedicures together (an annual Mother’s Day tradition), celebrated our last Mother’s Day together, spent my last birthday with Mom and Dad, celebrated our last anniversaries together since we are just 1 day apart, and stayed in the cabins in Long Pine together for the last time. Those are just the “lasts” of May.
I remember when Tucker was tiny, lamenting the passing of the lasts- frequently without knowing in the moment that the last was even happening. The last time I picked him up and carried him. The last time he called me “mommy.” In life we easily celebrate the first- first step, first word, first birthday, but we rarely get the gift of celebrating the lasts. And maybe, in some ways that is a gift in and of itself. Lasts are terribly painful.
But, there is a gift in walking through the pain and the lasts with intentionality. Leaning in and feeling both the joy of celebrating together and the pain of all the love you still have to give that you will never be able to use up on the person you love so dearly.
Many of my memories from the last year play back in my mind like a Hallmark movie. They are so beautiful and so perfect. My last birthday celebration with Mom and Dad we got a babysitter for all the kids and headed to Omaha. We had brunch at a lovely local farm to table restaurant, rode around in the car with the sunroof open singing our favorite oldies together, drove through the gorgeous historical neighborhoods and commenting on our favorite houses, then got pedicures together. It was a perfect day. That same weekend we had our photos taken by the lovely and talented Bobbi Beaver at Unsweptstone Photography, then had a delightful picnic in the park where the kids fed the ducks, the sun shone down on us and we basked in the beauty of it all. After that we headed to Lauritzen Gardens, one of my favorite places in all the earth, and I watched as “Dale” and “Pip” played together so sweetly, smelling all the blooms on the trees and Mom soaked in every moment.. We both felt so much beauty and sorrow in that moment. It was our last time there together.
I am an event creator. I love a reason to celebrate and I love traditions. Over the years we have found so many days to celebrate and reasons to get together. We even love to celebrate things like “National Gardens Day” and “Railroad Days.” That makes holidays like Mother’s Day even harder. Holidays have an obvious void. It’s not really a day we can just ignore and skip over. I knew that this year, even though the day would look so much different, it was a day I still needed to celebrate - just much differently.
Let’s pause for a moment and give a shout out to Anthony, the most blessed thing that has ever happened to me. I am so grateful that he has understood through all of this grief, and all the tears and emotions that this is not something I am ever going to “get over.” He doesn’t expect things to just “go back to normal” because our “normal” (whatever that is) has changed forever.
So this year, when I said I just wanted to quietly get away for a little while, even though it is planting season, Anthony didn’t even hesitate. He just said, “Let me know what you want to do and when.” Due to the insanity of COVID-19, the quarantines and self-isolation, basically all our plans for this year have fallen through. Each opportunity to get away and reflect has been cancelled, and even though a word like “isolation” would seem to indicate that one has had much time to one-self, that has not been the case at all.
We found a little cabin in the sandhills that had plenty of opportunity for social distancing, and we booked it. I had heard of this place 19 years ago when we got married, but we had never had a chance to stay here ourselves. There weren’t a lot of photos so we had no idea what to expect, but it couldn’t have been more perfect. I was able to buy my mom a bouquet of flowers for Mothers Day and deliver them to one of her favorite places on earth. Then when we arrived at our cabin I realized it was the closest thing to Mom’s other favorite place on earth that we could possibly find in Nebraska. The cabin is a beautiful log cabin surrounded by lodgepole pine trees. As we hiked down into the canyon it felt as though we were hiking in the mountains. We came across deer bounding through the forest, saw many elk tracks, and found a small pond that was so still the trees perfectly reflected off of it. The sun was warm, but the breeze was crisp as we sat by the pond and listened to the birds. It felt just like sitting in Wyoming with mom.
I don’t know that I could say it was a “Happy” Mother’s day, but it was a good mother’s day. My mom taught us so much. She poured her soul into us, faithfully teaching us to love our husbands, our children and the Lord. She took her role as a Titus 2 women to heart and lived out her mission field locally - serving others through her gift of hospitality, loving everyone she came into contact with, and being especially excited whenever she had a chance to minister to people locally that were from other countries - the foreign mission field came to her! I miss her every single day, and time probably isn’t going to change that, but even through the pain I can celebrate her on Mother’s Day.
So, Happy Mother’s Day Mom. I can’t wait until I see you again.
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