As 2020 becomes a part of our history and 2021 lies before us, full of hope, promises and uncertainty, there has been so much on my heart. 

In just 2 short days will be the first anniversary of my precious Mama's transition to her heavenly home. I miss her dearly. And, as anniversaries have a way of doing, there have been many memories surrounding this time last year. There is much to celebrate, but also so much grief. There is gratefulness, but also lamenting. 

The past few days on social media have been filled with reflection on both the past year and the year to come. I have always been a resolution maker, but these years have changed me. Instead of resolutions, I have found myself in a mode of reflection instead. 

For the year 2020 the words the Lord gave me were Feast and Dwell. With 2020 hindsight (ha!) these words feel more meaningful than ever. The stirring in my heart had brought these verses in particular to mind. 

Psalm 34:8

One thing I ask from the LORD
This only do I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
To gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple. 

Miriam Webster defines Dwell as: to keep the attention directed. I adore this. In all of the distraction this year and the many times that I have felt like the media has wanted to keep our attention directed on whatever the agenda of that day, a refocusing has been in order. I have felt the need for me to be intentional to seek the LORD and to gaze on the beauty of His plan. 

As we walked through the valley of the shadow of death, Psalm 23 was often in the meditations of my heart and remained there through the trials of this year. 

Ps 23:5-6
"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; 
    You have anointed my head with oil;
        My cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
    And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

There is goodness here. And mercy. Abundance. Protection. Satisfaction.

The concept of feasting seems to fit right in with this. The specific verse the Lord gave me last year is Psalm 34:8
"O taste and see that the LORD is good' 
    How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!"

I am such a visual learner. As I picture a feast it signifies an amount sufficient to not just sample, but to get your fill. A feast is shared as a community, not in isolation. There is abundance. 

As I reflect on this past year, my perspective is different. Instead of a list of things to change about myself, I am making a list of ways I grew and overcame in the past year. Instead of a harshness and critical spirit, I spoke words of life and encouragement over the growth and experiences of the past year and the year to come. 

So far I have not been given a new Word for this year, but my heart desires to Feast + Dwell even more. I didn't recognize the connection until I began to write this post, but one of my goals for the coming year is to learn more about the Jewish feasts and celebrations. (if you have been researching this, let's get together!) I desire to move forward with intentionality and community.

So, 2021, I don't know if you will be a "better" year than 2020. For many years I have "kissed that past year goodbye," placing great hope in the new year being much more comfortable. This year I am not. Come what may, I desire to sit at the table prepared for me. I trust the protection. I acknowledge the brokenness and lament. I seek the gratitude and joy. 

I would love to hear where you are in this season. Message me, or even better, come sit at my table. 

Blessings, 
Julie