Tonight I am feeling a big nostalgic. Yesterday I told my fantastic boss that has put up worked with me so patiently and allowed me to do so much from home so I could be with Tucker, that I am resigning/taking a sabbatical. I love what I do, and have loved even more that I have been able to work from home, but with some recent changes in our life and the loss of yet another babysitting connection, mixed with a busier work load that is requiring more meetings away from home, it was time to give it up and become a full time mommy.

Today felt wonderful in many ways. I realized that even though I don't work a lot of billable hours, work has been constantly on my mind. There is always a project to complete, another deadline to meet, or planning and development going through my mind. I find myself working at all hours of the day and night (some of the quietest hours are between 2-3 am) since my office is right in my home. This morning I felt free to accomplish what was on my agenda for my home. That was a wonderful feeling. Tucker and I played together, rocked, and laughed.

I have always said that I have the rest of my life to work, but I only have Tucker for right now. Each minute that goes by in his life while I am working is a minute I will never get back. I don't want to miss anything in the moment.

However, becoming a full time mommy can be difficult. In today's society motherhood doesn't have much of a value. Everyone knows mommies are important, but there is no "identity" in motherhood. Every person you meet asks you the question "So; what do you do?" Even though I have thought about that question many times, it is virtually impossible to answer that as a full time mommy. How do you sum up what you do in a sentence?

In a previous life it was easy. People would say "What do you do?" and I would say, "I am a banker." That's easy. Everyone knows what a banker is and what a banker does. It is considered to be a job for a person with an education who is motivated and successful. There is an automatic sense of respect associated with a job like that.

Being a full time mommy is a job that is considered to be for a person without an education or motivation to do anything but sit on the couch and eat bon-bons while watching tv.

I love business. I love sales, negotiations, technology, communications, co-workers, and the office environment. I randomly think about business plans, marketing strategies, and advertising campaigns for fun in my spare time. Working part time has given me a creative outlet and a few more people to use up my 10,000 daily word allotment, rather than saving all those words for Anthony to listen to when he gets home. I will miss it, but even still, I know I am doing the right thing for the moment.

So, in the mean time, if you need me I'll be right here playing hide and go seek, baking cookies, folding laundry, doing dishes, making playdates, clipping coupons, vacuuming the floor again, cleaning, going on walks to the park, tickling, wiping snotty noses, and soaking in every moment while it lasts.